


Improbable

by szm



Series: The mpreg I was never going to write [1]
Category: Torchwood
Genre: AU, M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-21
Updated: 2012-03-21
Packaged: 2017-11-02 08:09:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/366855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/szm/pseuds/szm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(moved from lj)</p><p>Something has happened to Jack that should not have happened. In fact it is completely impossible.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Improbable

**Author's Note:**

> Erm... yes I have committed mpreg. But I think you have to if you write fanfiction long enough. It's like an old charter. Or something.
> 
> Betaed by the wonderful vipersweb who deciphered the first draft. If it is any good at all it's down to her.

"What the hell do you mean I'm pregnant!" shouted Jack. 

Martha just raised her eyebrow at his outburst. "I mean you have a womb that has grown just here, near your abdominal aorta," said Martha calmly, while pointing to the display on the screen. "This contains a foetus. I'd say maybe three to four months along."

"That is completely impossible. You must be wrong." Jack folded his arms and treated Martha to the 'I am Jack Harkness and therefore cannot be mistaken' look. Unfortunately, that look didn't work on anyone - especially not Martha.

"Look," said Jack reasonably. "How could... that... even happen…”

Mickey looked at the screen, then at Jack's somewhat swollen belly, then at Jack's face. "Well Jack, when two people love each other very much..."

Gwen had to stifle the giggle with her hand. Jack glared at her then turned his attention to Mickey. "Shut it, Mickey Mouse."

"Jack," started Gwen, jumping in before the row could start. "You once said you'd been pregnant before..."

"That was in the 47th century!" exclaimed Jack "I did a favour for a friend. She was sick so they implanted the baby into me for a couple of weeks. Which, by the way, was long enough. It was a complicated medical procedure. It didn't just happen! This has got to be an alien or..."

"Jack," said Martha softly. "I did tests. The foetus is 100% human."

"Which means you're a daddy," said Mickey with some glee. 

Jack turned to glare at Ianto, who had remained silent so far. "This is your fault!" he pouted. 

Ianto for his part was feeling more than a little lost. Of all the possibilities and terrible scenarios he’d planned out in response to Jack bizarre symptoms, _this_ hadn’t even been given a fleeting glance. Ianto looked back at Jack shocked and more than a little defensive. "How pray tell is it my fault?"

"Well it's yours too!" Jack shot back. Arguing with Ianto meant he didn’t have to think too hard about what was happening.

"How the hell do you know that?!" Ianto could have kicked himself as soon as he said it. But it came from that part of him that was always a little unsure. The part that kept reminding him that Jack was Jack, and he never played by the rules. Or at least not rules Ianto understood.

"Whose do you think it is? Myfanwy's?" Jack took a step into Ianto’s personal space, but Ianto refused to back down.

Mickey turned to Gwen, trying to break the tension. "Myfanwy’s a possibility? Well that was more about their sex life than I wanted to know."

Gwen glared at him, but Jack and Ianto ignored the comment. Ianto poked Jack in the chest. Letting that tiny unsure part of his mind speak for him. "Four months ago. Wasn't John Hart making a nuisance of himself then?"

Jack narrowed his eyes. "Are you accusing me of something?"

"Guys..." started Gwen trying to interrupt them. 

“What would I be accusing you of Jack?” asked Ianto, eyes flashing dangerously.

“Right,” announced Gwen firmly. “That’s enough. You two can have the domestic later. Ianto, go and look in the archives - any reference to anything like this happening before.”

“You think _this_ happened before?” asked Mickey, his whole body radiating doubt.

Gwen just glared. “You can check the electronic archives, any mention of male pregnancy. Anything at all, even really bad, unexplained stomach aches.”

“Yes ma’am,” replied Mickey, looking at Gwen’s expression, and deciding discretion was the better part of valour.

“Martha, Jack,” continued Gwen. “Tests, run lots and lots of…” she waved her hands vaguely. “Tests. Okay?”

Mickey and Martha headed off to their appointed tasks. Jack and Ianto were still glaring at each other.

“Ianto?” prompted Gwen. “Archives?”

“Yes, ma’am,” replied Ianto, storming off to the archives.

Jack just stared at the floor sulkily. Gwen opened her mouth to speak.

“Don’t tell me it’ll be okay, Gwen,” said Jack flatly.

Gwen nodded and gave Jack a quick hug. He returned it, closing his eyes for a moment.

“He thinks I slept with John…” he whispered almost to himself.

“He doesn’t,” replied Gwen, detangling herself from Jack with a kind smile. “He’s just a bit thrown, that’s all.”

Jack didn’t answer and Gwen sighed. Giving Jack’s shoulder a final squeeze she headed over to her own computer. 

**

When Ianto came up from the archives, the hub was strangely quiet. Gwen and Mickey weren’t anywhere to be seen. He took a deep breath to fortify himself, and headed towards the autopsy room.

Jack was sitting on the table. He had sensors stuck to his exposed belly that were connected up to a small grey box that projected a disturbingly clear image Jack’s insides, and of the foetus, on the opposite wall. Jack was staring at it. He hadn’t noticed Ianto yet.

Surprisingly the image wasn’t what disturbed Ianto. It was too patently impossible, too removed for him to connect it with reality. His eyes travelled to the strange swell in Jack’s stomach. That was real. That was scary. Proof that _something_ was happening to Jack. Something that Ianto didn’t know how to deal with, couldn’t make better, couldn’t fix, and didn’t even know if it needed to be fixed. If Jack would even let him help. 

Ianto didn’t realize he was staring until he heard Jack speak.

“Find anything?”

Ianto swallowed. “Nothing about male pregnancies. But maybe something. Where are the others?”

“Martha’s running my blood through the machines, _again_ , and there was a Weevil sighting on Bute Terrace. Gwen took Mickey.” Jack gave Ianto a sharp smile that almost hurt to look at. “She wouldn’t let me go.”

“You’re pregnant,” replied Ianto.

Jack didn’t say anything; he just looked at the screen. After a tense few moments he said, “I didn’t sleep with John four months ago.”

“I know,” replied Ianto through a thick throat.

“No, you don’t,” replied Jack sadly. “But I think that might be my fault.” 

Ianto really wanted to touch Jack. He wanted to help, to do something. Just to know that Jack was still there. But this was Ianto’s fault, somehow, in someway. Jack had even said so. Ianto knew that it had just been a stupid argument, but Jack was pregnant, and Ianto didn’t have any clue how to deal with that. Or what really that even meant. Just as he thought he might get his feet to cooperate and walk the few steps over to Jack, Martha walked back in.

“Tell me some good news, Dr Jones,” demanded Jack roughly.

“Whatever happens, you won’t die in childbirth,” Martha snapped back.

“Not. Helpful,” answered Jack through gritted teeth.

“Jack, I don’t know anything we didn’t know two hours ago. You’ve somehow acquired a womb you didn’t have before. You’re pregnant, and the baby is healthy and human. Did you find anything?”

It took Ianto a few moments to realize that Martha was talking to him. “Oh, um… I think so…” he opened the file he’d brought up from the archives. Just then Gwen returned. She crossed straight over to Jack and placed her hand on his lower back. Ianto had never felt jealous of Gwen before, but in that moment he could have happily ripped her hand off. Because Gwen was always so bloody sure of how to react. She always trusted her own emotions, and Ianto couldn’t even put _name_ to his right now.

“Are you okay sweetheart?” she asked Jack.

Jack glared at her. “I’m still pregnant,” he said rolling his eyes.

“Mickey’s gone back to the computers, have we found anything out?” asked Gwen, looking at Martha and Ianto, hand still resting on Jack’s lower back.

“Ianto’s got something,” announced Martha.

“Great!” said Gwen, smiling at Ianto.

“It’s just an idea…” mumbled Ianto.

“More than anyone else has got,” replied Jack. “Right kids, lets relocate to the boardroom. Martha, can we get this contraption off me?”

“I’ll just head upstairs and set up then?” said Ianto, asking nobody in particular. Then he left with slightly more speed than was needed.

“I’ll help,” called Gwen after him. She turned to Martha. “You two going to be okay getting up to the boardroom?”

“Gwen,” snapped Jack. “I’m not an invalid.”

Gwen headed towards the boardroom, stopping at Mickey’s desk to tell him that there’d be a meeting in ten minutes. 

“Sure thing Boss-lady,” replied Mickey. “How they doing?”

Gwen sighed. “Business as usual. They’re both scared and trying to hide it from each other. Don’t worry, they’ll work it out. They always do.” 

When Gwen got up to the boardroom, Ianto had finished most of the set up and was pointlessly moving chairs.

“No coffee?” asked Gwen softly, making Ianto jump. That worried Gwen quite a bit. She’d never been able to sneak up on Ianto before.

“Jack can’t have any. It seemed cruel for the rest of us to sit around drinking it.” Ianto moved to the next chair and edged it along a few millimetres.

Gwen chuckled and Ianto gave her a questioning look. She shrugged, “Just thinking what Owen would say about having to miss out on coffee because Jack was pregnant.”

Ianto smirked. “I can imagine what he’d be like about the whole situation. Jack’s even starting to get on Martha’s nerves. Owen wouldn’t have lasted ten minutes.”

Gwen chuckled again, and for a moment, they were both lost in remembering their friend. 

“Are you okay Ianto?” asked Gwen. 

Ianto looked at the table. “I’m not pregnant.”

“Good,” nodded Gwen. “One pregnant man around here is more than enough.”

Ianto smirked at that, but his expression was a little off. Gwen found herself really wanting to give him a hug. She could get away with that with Jack, but Ianto was different. Gwen had learned that while Jack had been away with his Doctor. You had to keep an eye on Ianto, but he was a lot like a wounded animal when he was hurting. If you got too close, you’d get bitten.

“If you need to talk to someone…” started Gwen

“I’m fine,” replied Ianto brightly, and far too quickly.

Gwen nodded, and took her place at the table, waiting for the others.

“I’ll go and get some water then, if we’re not having coffee,” said Ianto turning to leave. He paused at the door. “He’s going to be alright.”

It wasn’t a question. There was nothing in Ianto’s tone to make it even remotely resemble a question. But Gwen answered it anyway. “We’re not going to let him be anything else.”

Ianto nodded and went to collect the water jugs.

**

Mickey arrived before Jack, and took a seat next to Ianto, and opposite Gwen. Ianto liked Mickey; he understood what it was like to go from a big, corporate environment, to the close intimacy of Jack’s Torchwood, since Mickey had been a part of Torchwood in the other universe. That Torchwood had been as big and organised as London. It was… nice to have someone else appreciate the culture shock of moving to Torchwood Three – even if Mickey was far more pleased than Ianto to lose the layers of paperwork and red tape the larger Institution had required.

It wasn’t that Ianto enjoyed the paperwork; it just made him feel safer. Which was stupid given how London ended up.

Mickey also knew about Cybermen in a way none of the others did, and he shared Ianto’s dark sense of humour. With the two of them working together so much, the world was now richer by several hundred Cyberman jokes. It made it easier, to able to laugh at them with someone who understood that the jokes really weren’t funny. At all. 

Ianto was able to talk to Mickey about what happened to Lisa, and Mickey told him what had happened to Jake. It didn’t make anything better, just ever so slightly easier to bear. To have someone who understood but hadn’t been directly involved. Someone who _would_ talk about it, and not just try to put it in a box labelled ‘the past’ and move on.

Mickey and Martha weren’t staying. Just helping out, while Torchwood licked its wounds. Ianto was glad of that. He wouldn’t wish a life in Torchwood on anyone. But he was going to miss them when they were gone from everyday life. Mickey’s jokes and support, and Martha’s stable presence. Nothing seemed to faze or shock her. She just took everything as it came and dealt with it. Like she actually was what Ianto spent most of the time pretending to be.

Jack strode in ahead of Martha, he looked over the table. “Coffee?” he asked Ianto pleasantly, but with the very clear edge of ‘want coffee now or Jack smash’.

“Pregnant,” countered Ianto, with a smirk he really didn’t feel.

“Why do you care?” asked Jack, staring at Ianto

Ianto met his eyes, refusing to be intimidated. “It’s mine too, right?”

Jack held Ianto’s gaze for a long moment. He broke into the first real smile since Martha’s announcement. “Right.”

Mickey groaned. “You two are so bloody weird…”

Jack smirked. “Oh yeah, like your relationships are all clear-cut and wholesome…”

“All right boys,” interrupted Gwen, before they could get started. “Before we have yet another round of the Jack and Mickey show, Ianto, what did you find?”

Ianto cleared his throat. “Well I couldn’t find any precedents, so I started looking at things that happened three to four months ago. Just after Hart left there was a rift spike. Jack and Mickey went to check it out and found this.” Ianto passed round photos of a piece of alien tech. “Jack guessed that it had belonged to Hart and he dropped it as he left, via the rift.”

Jack looked at the photo in his hands: it showed a small black oval. The outside casing was smooth. It fit into a palm very easily. Next to that was a photo of the thing opened up. Full of buttons with strange alien symbols on them. ”Ianto, this is just a probability matrix. People use them to cheat at gambling games in the Vegas galaxies. It’s harmless; well unless you get caught with one in Vegas. And this one was burnt out when we found it; bad reaction to the rift energy.”

“No it wasn’t,” corrected Mickey. “It overloaded and burnt out after you picked it up. It killed you remember?” He looked at Ianto. “Do you think?”

“You have to admit it is very improbable,” replied Ianto.

“No,” frowned Jack. “It’s not improbable, it’s impossible.” 

“Sorry,” said Gwen. “Catch up for the slow girl here.”

“I think,” said Martha slowly. “What Ianto’s saying is, Jack picked up the device and it had some kind of energy surge, from the rift energy. It burnt out the machine and created a very high improbability field around Jack…”

“So,” continued Mickey. “We got back to the Hub. Ianto goes into Jack’s office with his, meaningful pause, _coffee_. And twenty minutes later – pregnant Jack!”

“Except pregnant Jack is impossible not improbable,” repeated Jack.

“No, it’s not though,” said Martha excitedly.

Gwen’s eyes widened as she clued in. “Because pregnant Jack has happened before!”

Jack groaned. “I wish everyone would stop using the word ‘pregnant’.”

“Sure,” said Mickey with a grin. “What would you prefer? Knocked up, up the duff, bun in the oven, member of the pudding club…”

“Stop it, please,” said Ianto politely, looking daggers at Mickey.

Mickey’s grin didn’t slip. “He asked.”

Jack still looked unconvinced. “I’ve never heard of anything like this happening with one of these things before…”

“Well,” said Ianto. “Even if there’d been an accident like this before, anyone else would have stayed dead. Maybe they were just an extremely lucky corpse for a few hours?” 

“How did the pregnancy work last time?” asked Martha.

Jack looked uncomfortable. “They gave me a mixture of drugs and hormones that caused a temporary womb to grow. Then they transferred the baby using something like a trans-mat beam only more precise. When the mother was better they transferred the baby back the same way. Womb was absorbed back into my body. But even if I could re-grow the womb without the drugs, I don’t have the rest of the equipment.”

“But, if the drugs had somehow stayed dormant in your system… They _might_ have had other effects on your physiology. I don’t know enough about them, but it sounds really unlikely…”

“But that’s the point,” agreed Jack wearily. “So I’m really pregnant.” He looked over at Ianto, who was studying the top of the table as if it held the secrets to the universe.

“I’ll need to do another medical exam Jack,” said Martha. “I’ve got no idea how this pregnancy is going to progress, or what it’s going to do to you or the baby.”

“But that can wait till tomorrow, right?” interrupted Gwen

Martha looked up. Jack was slumped at the head of the table, joining Ianto in a bout of advanced table watching. “Yes, of course,” she replied. “It’s getting late; I should get off home…”

Jack seemed to brighten up. “Go on then kids. I’ll see you in the morning.” Martha opened her mouth to speak, but Jack beat her to it. “Yes, Dr Jones I promise I’ll ring if anything changes.” 

Everyone seemed reluctant to leave but eventually Mickey stood and Martha followed. Ianto started to clear the table. Gwen hovered by the door.

“Gwen,” said Jack sounding tired. “Just give me some time to figure this out okay.”

“Can you give me a hand with the jugs?” Ianto asked Gwen. Gwen nodded and they carried the jugs and glasses to the kitchenette.

“You’re staying, aren’t you?” asked Gwen worriedly. “He shouldn’t be on his own.”

“I’ve still got things I need to do before I lock up,” replied Ianto.

Gwen smiled and patted his arm. “It’ll be okay,” she said as she turned to leave.

Ianto really wished she hadn’t said that. 

**

Ianto finished cleaning up the main Hub, let Myfanwy out for the night, and tidied up the archives. Before he’d been searching with an eye to haste rather than organisation. By then Jack had shut himself in his office. Ianto didn’t know what to do. If Jack even wanted him to stay. He’d told Gwen he needed time; maybe that meant time away from everyone. Ianto didn’t know how he fit into Jack life, not really. Let alone how any of _this_ fit into whatever it was they had. Not to mention how any of it fit into Torchwood. He decided to go home; he didn’t know what to say to Jack, or what to do. However, when he arrived at the tourist office Mickey was standing there with his arms folded across his chest.

“What are you still doing here?” asked Ianto.

Mickey’s expression softened slightly. “Waiting for you to do something stupid like try to leave.”

Ianto didn’t respond. Just tried to walk past, but Mickey blocked his path.

“No way Jones, back down you go.”

“Mickey leave it, okay.” Ianto said flashing Mickey a frustrated look.

“Look, you’re freaking out and I understand. I’d be freaking out too. But however much you’re freaking out, Jack’s gotta be freaking out more. If you go home, you’ll both sit on your own and freak out about it alone. Who knows what crazy shit you’ll both have worked out in your heads by tomorrow? Go and be weird together. Gwen seems to have faith that you’ll work it out.”

“What do you think?” asked Ianto.

“I think she gives the two of you to much credit, but she’s known you longer so…” Mickey shrugged.

Ianto looked back at the door to the hub. “I don’t know what to say…” he confessed, half to himself.

“Neither does Jack,” said Mickey. Ianto looked back at him, he smiled. “Now it’s not that I don’t trust you, but I’ll have your car and house keys. You can have them back in the morning.” 

**

Ianto found Jack in his office, sitting at the desk.

“You should go home,” said Jack, not looking at Ianto. “It’s late.”

“Mickey took my keys,” admitted Ianto. The silence stretched out. “Jack?” asked Ianto eventually.

“I’m pregnant,” stated Jack. 

“Yes,” confirmed Ianto.

“What the hell am I supposed to do now?” Jack looked up at Ianto, he looked so lost. Ianto finally found that he could move. That he could cross those few steps that earlier had seemed impossible. He wrapped his arms round Jack.

“I don’t know,” said Ianto softly.

“Good answer,” replied Jack.

**

They ended up curled up on the sofa. Leaning against each other, half asleep and half not, Ianto’s hand had slipped so it lay on Jack’s stomach.

Morning would come, like it or not. Then decisions would have to be made. But not right now.


End file.
